Hero Priti Patel deports Huricane Lorenzo

Britain has been saved from almost certain destruction at the windy hands of Hurricane Lorenzo, thanks to Home Secretary Priti Patel and her xenophobia.

“The first warning sign about Hurricane Lorenzo was his Italianess” said Mrs. Patel.

We were less concerned about him being the remnants of a massively destructive hurricane but that certainly did not help his case.

“I understand that Lorenzo was hoping to be re-united with his spouse Hurricane Giuseppe, but, and I can’t stress this enough, I don’t give a fuck.”

Hurricane Lorenzo was unable to submit a timely Spousal Visa application and as a weather phenomenon it is unlikely that he would have met the basic income threshold.

“We will except on the best and brightest hurricanes” gleamed the Home Secretary while everyone else looked sad.