“Fun Stops at Nairn” says Official Report


A report commissioned by the Highland council has confirmed for the first time where the fun stops.

Fun was said to be most prevalent in the Highland region and Western Isles and gradually diminishes the closer you get to working public transport and England.

Inverness was found to contain no fun apart from in Dobbie’s Garden centre which everyone agreed is absolutely brilliant.

The fun is now believed to stop at Nairn in the east, St. Kilda in the west skirting Lewis on Sundays and the green welly stop in the south.

Unlike Lewis the isle of Harris is suspected to be brilliant fun all the time but only when no one is watching in case God finds out.

However experts did find pockets of fun in the south such as Blair Drummond Safari park and those chippies that will deep fry anything for 50p.

Bob Cowan an Inverness based prick and Fun Enthusiast was quick to test the theory:

“I went to Elgin last week to tell them my beloved racist camel joke.”

“Then I made everyone watch me drink ten pints of 3% lager, joked about their dad’s being gay and boasted  about shagging their wives and still not a single laugh! “

“Yep the fun definitely stops at Nairn. Pricks!”