Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson to star in Calum’s Road Blockbuster

Hollywood megastar Dwayne ” the Rock” Johnson has been cast to play Calum in the upcoming Raasay blockbuster – Calum’s Road.

“The film will be a high speed thriller about our hero Calum – played by the Rock – desperately trying to save his family…the hassle of a two mile walk ” said one glitzy L.A producer.

“At some point there will be a helicopter chase. We aren’t sure why right now but it will involve the Crofting Commission.”

“When Dwayne gets involved in a project he really gives his all. We sent him on a week long short course at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig to work on his accent and now he is doing a degree in traditional Gaelic music and refusing to eat anything that isn’t black pudding.”

“He has even designed a Harris Tweed workout vest with matching jockstrap. It’s incredibly chafing and impossible to wash but he hasn’t taken it off in 6 weeks. What an inspiration.”

Filming is due to begin next Wednesday once the Rock has finished the morning jobs on his new croft at Sconser.