Crofter thinks Tinder is a type of kindling


A Highland crofter was left confused and terrified this week after a friend signed him up to the popular dating app Tinder thinking it was a supplier of kindling.

“I asked a friend to sign me up to Tinder because I was delighted by the prospect of free and carefree kindling being only a swipe away.”

“Clearly there has been some sort of misunderstanding though as people are now constantly trying to have sex with me. It’s a huge disappointment.”

“I considered packing in the old crofting to take up the shagging full time but I have found that it is starting to get in the way of Emmerdale and tractor maintenance. So far my wife has kept her opinions to herself … either that or she’s left me”.

“I am not sure, I’ve been busy ploughing everything in sight.”

This comes only a month after a free church minister in Assynt signed up for the gay dating app Grindr thinking it sold parts for flour mills.