Ban Nevis – Traditional Music Venue (1999-2017)

So. You’re a pub in a down at heel part of Glasgow, round about 1999 a bunch of traditional musicians pop in for a pint and ask of they can play a tune. Then they make it a regular thing, and you give them some booze for their efforts. Word spreads.

It works well, almost too well. Soon enough you’ve got a bloody orchestra of RSAMD types looking smug as shit when they all nail that powerchord on High Road to Linton so you need to restrict the free pints thing, but over time your sessions become an iconic part of Scottish Traditional music.

The best musicians of their generation drop in, make it their regular spot, attract punters and awards. Frankly, you could even consider yourself another point on the Teuchter Triangle. The Ben Nevis. Good lads.

But now you’re in an edgy part of town – Finnieston is tumbling over with hipster pricks who when actual confronted with anything approaching real, gritty culture, they practically vomit – so the very day after Na Trads you decide to cater to these Jack Kerouac worshippers and commit a bit of commercial suicide and tell the very same award winning musicians to stop playing. Well fucking done.

At least you’ll still have the anecdote about the racehorse with the same name winning the Grand National to keep your pub warm.