Alistair Carmichael ‘Still a Prick’

Alistair eating a bit of one of his constituents

The recent appearance of Alistair Carmichael in court has sparked allegations that he is “at least as much of a prick as he used to be.”

Some reports indicate that he could actually be “even more of a prick than he used to be.”

A spokesman for local charity Pricks United Ltd commented today saying: “Alistair is doing a fantastic job in upholding the main principles of PUL. Those principles include: be a prick everywhere, all the time, publicly without shame, and even to your grandparents after them giving you lovely Christmas presents.”

A spokesman for Twats Global Co. however said, “Carmichael may be a prick, but he’s not a twat. That position is usually reserved for prime ministers, traffic wardens and most of M*****.”