2015 Uist Poetry Competition “worst for years”

The Uist Poetry Academy before being demolished in 1971

Outrage was expressed by many at the lack of poetic potential in the Uists this year, with the winning entry in the ‘Serious Poems for Serious Middle-Aged Men’ going to Alfred MacKintosh’s poem “I once pissed off the side of a rollercoaster at Disneyland, Lol!”

Chairman of Serious Men Dot Com, Alan Pyotr Camp-beltovski, said “this clearly isn’t a serious enough poem. Then again, last year’s winner – “Tha am milkshake agam a’ toirt air na balaich a thighinn chun na garaids” was almost as bad. Better though. Better.”

The Uist Poetry Competition has been in decline ever since the demolition of the Uist Poetry Academy in 1971 to make way for high-rise flats, sheep and more lovely lovely peat.

The full text of the winning poem is featured below.

I once,

Pissed,

Off the,

Side,

Of a,

Rollercoaster.

At Disneyland.

Lol!

Fin.